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What parents of math-confident children secretly do (that typical parents don’t) – #2

Tuesday, April 18th, 2017

I’ve come to understand that many parents tend to misunderstand what is actually needed for a child in math crisis to become math-confident.

Did you know that parents of math-confident children have a very specific set of beliefs and behaviors that set them apart?

I’m on a mission to educate parents about this.

First (as I shared in my last article about this), math-masterful parents see high-level support as normal and desirable, both for their child and for themselves. (Full details here.)

Second, parents of Math Masters are no longer willing to suffer or wait.

Typical parents tend to respond to a child’s persistent math struggles by waiting and hoping that their math issues will just magically go away by themselves.

They will tell themselves things like, “Let’s just wait and see what happens,”
“Let’s see how my child does between now and the end of the year,”
or “It will start clicking for my child eventually.”

But almost always, what happens is, in the best case scenario, the child barely manages to keep their head above water.

Or, worst case scenario, the child’s math understanding spirals downward…and the situation just keeps getting worse.

In contrast, math-masterful parents face reality and take control.

They understand on a deep level that if they continue to do the same things that aren’t working, they’ll just continue to get the same results.

Their child will struggle and suffer, and so will the parent.

So math-masterful parents choose to take a different action to create a different result.

When faced with an opportunity to receive support that will actually help their kid, they say yes and move forward.

As a quick example, one family was referred to me by a colleague at the child’s school. The student was tired of struggling and went to the math department head with her mom to ask for a referral to a math tutor.

This department head knew that the student loves to sing and dance, so she told her and her mom, “You should call Rebecca, because she sings about math.”

When the daughter told her mom, “Let’s call Rebecca right away,” they ACTUALLY called.

And we started working together almost immediately.

After our very first session, the mom emailed me that a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

And the mom’s relief only increased as her daughter continued to receive this aligned support and get consistently great grades.

Did I just describe *your* mindset? Do you see high-level math mentoring support as normal and desirable? Are you no longer willing to wait while your child continues to suffer from math challenges?

I would love to connect and explore how I could best support your family.

To take the first step, just fill out this application here:

Once your application is received, I’ll reach out to schedule a special appointment time for us to connect and get clear on what’s not working, what you want instead, and whether my work would be a fit.

I’m totally excited to hear from you!

Sending you love,
REBECCA

Related Posts:
What parents of math-confident children secretly do (that typical parents don’t) – #1
The secret ingredients of true math mastery
When doing your math homework just isn’t cutting it

Making Math Magical: Mon 5/8/2017 at the Westhampton Free Library

Friday, April 14th, 2017


Come and join me for this special talk, Making Math Magical, at the Westhampton Free Library!

Receive groundbreaking tools to build and nurture math confidence.

Discover how to support and help your child achieve true mastery and rise to the top of their class.

Support your child to experience math as a source of joy and a type of self-expression.

Attendees will walk away with clear steps, case studies and tools that can be easily implemented at home to ensure math confidence and success.

Pizza will be provided for attendees.

Date: Mon 5/8/2017
Time: 6:30 pm – 8 pm
Location: Westhampton Free Library, Children’s Program Room
7 Library Avenue
Westhampton Beach, NY 11978

Audience: For parents and students in grades 4–12.
Cost: Free!

#Westhampton #WesthamptonFreeLibrary #mathforparents #mathsupportforparents #MathConfidence #MathMastery #MasteryMindset #elementary #highschool #middleschool #LongIsland #LI #mathanxiety

What parents of math-confident children secretly do (that typical parents don’t) – #1

Tuesday, April 11th, 2017

I recently had an epiphany.

I’ve come to understand that in my case studies and articles, I’ve been focused primarily on student behavior and student results.

Yet each of these transformations was only possible because of their parent’s behavior and beliefs.

Just like a Wimbleton champion works out differently than a typical person, or a billionaire invests differently than a typical investor, parents who set their kids up to be math masters (whether or not they’re involved in their child’s day-to-day learning) have a very specific set of beliefs and behaviors that set them apart.

Let’s look at exactly how you can choose to adapt these beliefs and behaviors to create this transformation into math mastery for your child.

1. Math-masterful parents see high-level support as normal and desirable, both for their child and for themselves.

A “typical parent” mindset is usually something like,

“If my child has a math tutor, it means that they are in some way ‘less than’ or ‘not smart,’ because smart kids don’t need help.”

And then they focus on getting away with as little support as possible, or ‘weaning’ their child off of the support they have in place, because they’re concerned their child will be dependent.

This is a fundamental misunderstanding of what it means to truly be a master.

Masters receive the highest-level support available.

And they do so consistently.

You wouldn’t quit singing lessons after winning the lead in a musical.

You wouldn’t fire your personal trainer after qualifying for the Olympics.

You wouldn’t get elected President of the United States and then not have a cabinet.

Just like that, math-masterful parents understand that having high-level math support is normal AND desirable, and they set their kids up with the highest support available.

As a quick example, one mom came to me because her daughter was joyful about everything in her life except math, which made her miserable and anxious. And then the mom was also miserable and anxious.

Her approach was to set her daughter up with math support just like singing lessons and dance classes—as just another important piece in the big picture of her daughter’s life.

Now her daughter is happy and confident about math, and the mom is relaxed because her daughter is relaxed.

Did I just describe *your* mindset?

Do you see high-level math mentoring support as normal and desirable?

Are you no longer willing to wait while your child continues to suffer from math challenges?

I would love to connect and explore how I could best support your family.

To take the first step, just fill out this application here.

Once your application is received, I’ll reach out to schedule a special appointment time for us to connect and get clear on what’s not working, what you want instead, and whether my work would be a fit.

I’m totally excited to hear from you!

Sending you love,
REBECCA

PS. More secrets of math-masterful parents will be posted here – this is just #1 of 6!

Related posts:
Does having a math tutor make you a “loser”?
What to do when your kid’s math terrifies you
How to know when it’s time to stop tutoring your own kid

How to Raise a Math-Confident Daughter: Thursday, April 6th at the Rye Free Reading Room (Rye, NY)

Tuesday, March 28th, 2017

Come and join me for
How to Raise a Math-Confident Daughter,
Thursday, April 6th
at the Rye Free Reading Room
in Rye, NY!

In 2009, an Intel survey found most parents would rather talk to their kids about drugs and sex than talk to them about math.

Math can be an enormous ource of parental anxiety, where even the most math-confident parents can find themselves stuck when it comes to supporting their own child. Make sure that math anxiety isn’t an obstacle to your child’s dreams.

This talk/workshop will provide you with groundbreaking tools to build and nurture your child’s math confidence, including:

• the difference between perfectionism and mastery

• growth mindset

• how to use “negative” emotions to achieve math success

• flow state (how to use the sweet spot between boredom and overwhelm)

• mastery orientation, and more

You will discover how to support your child to achieve true mastery, rise to the top of their class, and even come to experience math as a source of joy and a type of self-expression.

You’ll walk away with clear steps, case studies, and tools that you can use immediately at home to ensure math confidence and success.

THIS TALK IS FOR: parents of girls from 4th grade through high school who are having issues with math and know that something needs to change.

DATE: Thursday Apr 6, 2017

TIME: 6:30 PM – 8:00 PM

LOCATION:
Rye Free Reading Room
(Meeting Room)
1061 Boston Post Rd.,
Rye, NY 10580

COST: Free and open to the public

Please spread the word to families you know who might be interested!

CASE STUDY: This 11th grader stopped binge eating because the math stress was gone

Tuesday, March 28th, 2017

Is your child consumed by math anxiety, even though they’re “doing everything right?”

These are some of my favorite students to work with, because I used to struggle with the exact same thing.

When this particular Algebra II/Trig student first came to me, she was making decent grades – Cs, Bs and low As – but at enormous psychic cost.

She would spend hours every night perfectionistically slaving over her math homework, but still feel completely unclear about the material and consumed by math anxiety.

Math felt like a collection of shards of broken glass that she was putting massive energy into “keeping together,” but they never actually fit together or added up to a cohesive whole.

How did she shift from perfectionism to mastery?

Let’s break it down!

1. When this student started working with me, one of the things that really stressed her out was her formulas sheet.

A page covered in things she hadn’t yet learned, that she would eventually have to memorize, many involving symbols or terms she’d never heard of yet, all crammed onto one scary page.

OF COURSE this freaked her out!

So we set the formulas sheet aside.

2. And instead, we built the formulas sheet from scratch – one formula at a time.

First, we started with the simplest, most basic formula, and built it from scratch using foundational concepts that this student already knew, like the Pythagorean formula.

And we’d make it super visual, drawing diagrams that explained why it worked.

Then she’d “teach it back to me” and build it from scratch and draw the diagrams herself.

Then the next session, we’d do the same thing again.

And again.

And again.

Until each formula was totally internalized, and she could build almost the entire formulas sheet from scratch, all by herself.

3. This created massive self-trust.

Not only did this student KNOW all the formulas, she knew WHY they worked, AND she could build them on her own.

Also, taking the time to do this so slowly, in the end, created massive speed.

This student became one of the fastest problem-solvers I’ve ever seen at this level …

BECAUSE she had taken the time to understand the fundamental concepts so meticulously.

The end result was that, without trying to be fast, this student breezed through the material, understanding at a deep conceptual level problems that many other students just experience as a random collection of rules or weird answers spit out by their TI-82.

Now this student experienced math as a cohesive whole, where she belonged, instead of a random collection of disconnected shards.

4. So, how did this play out in her classroom?

As a result of our work, this student’s grades hit the roof.

She was awarded the “most improved student” award by her teacher – in front of her whole school.

She was so much less stressed that she stopped binge eating…
…just because the math anxiety was gone.

And she applied for and won a prestigious internship at a European research-based skin care company in Georgetown, DC – being chosen over COLLEGE STUDENTS!!!

(This is an awesome example of how when math is no longer an obstacle, students can really bring their dreams and visions out into the world.)

Do you have a child who is struggling with this kind of math anxiety?

Maybe they’re actually getting good grades, but not really understanding how the pieces fit together.

Or maybe their grades have started to suffer.

Either way, I’d love to connect with you get clear on whether or not my work would be a fit for your child.

Just fill out this application to get started: fill out your application here

I am so excited to connect!

Sending you love,
REBECCA

Related Articles:
Case Study: A 5th grader goes from believing “Math Doesn’t Like Me” to singing and dancing about math while wearing a purple tutu
Afraid Your Math Teacher Will Judge You?
Case Study: A 10th grader goes from feeling like math is a foreign language to becoming the most called-upon student in her class
The Treachery of Invisible Math Anxiety

Making Math Magical at the Manalapan, NJ Public Library: Monday, 3/20

Thursday, March 16th, 2017

[NJ math butterfly forecast] Come and join me in Manalapan, NJ to learn how to make math magical and raise a math-confident daughter or son! Monday, 3/20, 6.30-7.30 pm!

Talk title: Making Math Magical: How to Raise a Math-Confident Daughter or Son

Audience: This talk is for parents of students from 6th through 12th grade who are having trouble with math and know something needs to change.

Date: Monday, 3/20

Time: 6.30-7.30 pm

Location: Headquarters Branch of the Monmouth County Library
125 Symmes Drive
Manalapan, NJ 07726-3249

Cost: Free and open to the public.

Please spread the word to families you think may be interested.

I would love to see you there!

Sending you love,
REBECCA
#makingmathmagical #Manalapan #Monmouth #MonmouthPublicLibrary #ManalapanPublicLibrary #NewJersey #NJ #mathforparents #mathconfidence #mathanxiety #mathjoy #makingmathmagical #STEM #STEAM #MATHMASTERY

What to do when your kid’s math fills you with dread

Wednesday, March 15th, 2017

Parents routinely come to me with this situation. Your passionate, creative, unique, visionary kid has been struggling with math for months (or even years), even though they’re already giving it everything they’ve got.

You’re spending hours on Khan Academy every night trying to untangle your kid’s homework, teaching yourself so you can teach them. Instead of having dinner as a family, you’re working on math.

Your kid is so frustrated and stressed about math that they routinely break down and cry. Or maybe they’re just so anxious that you’re starting to pick up their anxiety yourself, and you’re struggling to filter everything you say, just to make sure you don’t snap at them.

You feel drained, burdened, even resentful. You come home from work, and instead of being excited to see your kid and have this precious time with them, you are filled with dread about the math you’ll need to help them with tonight. Again. Night after night. No end in sight.

And the days when they have tests are the worst. When you pick them up after school, you feel this knot in your stomach worrying about how they did.

You’re already worrying about the doors that will be shut to them if they don’t feel comfortable with math. You don’t care whether or not they pursue math as a career – you just really, really don’t want their math phobia to get in the way of their dreams coming true.

You might have even already taken then to a tutoring center and they hated it. Maybe they felt embarrassed that someone they knew might see them. Maybe they were just turned off by having to do worksheet after worksheet. And even though it was supposed to solve the problem, the tutoring center wasn’t able to help your kid either.

And you’re starting to feel extremely guilty, because even though you’re trying everything you can humanly think of, your superhuman efforts are not creating results. Your kid isn’t really understanding, they’re not really learning, and they’re not getting good grades. Sometimes you feel like a failure as a parent.

In a few years, your kid will be in college, out of the house forever, and right now, your precious time together as a family is being completely consumed by struggling with math.

You feel completely stuck.

Does this sound familiar? Is this what you’re facing?

Please know that you are not alone. Nothing is wrong with you. There is just something missing. You aren’t getting the support you need to truly understand, and neither is your kid, but that doesn’t mean that either of you is mathematically incapable. There’s just a gap between what you need and the resources that you have in front of you.

Please know that what you’re facing is not insurmountable. Just because you have been struggling for months or years does not mean that you have to struggle forever.

For example, I personally spent years struggling in silence with math and thinking that I was “not a math person.”

Now I’m on the other side, and I have helped many other families go from being completely consumed about math to feeling happy, relaxed, and confident about math – even in really extreme situations where a kid was so anxious about math they refused to do their homework unless they were sitting next to their mom, or, another example, where a previous tutor had told the family that math was like a foreign language and their daughter only spoke five words.

Please know that you don’t have to stay stuck. It is completely possible to find support that results in lasting math transformation – even if you feel like you’ve already tried everything and nothing has worked.

Please know that you don’t have to keep doing what you’re doing. If it’s not working, doing MORE of what’s not working is not going to create the transformation that you desire.

Please know that you don’t have to do this by yourself. You do not have to reteach yourself all of the math you ever learned. You do not need to be the one trying to ensure that your kid understands. You do not need keep spending hours on Khan Academy every night trying to figure out what they heck your kid is supposed to do. You do not need to continue to feel this dread about your kid’s next math grade.

If you’re ready to invest in world-class, one-on-one math mastery support for your passionate, creative kid, just click here to get started with your special application for my one-on-one math tutoring programs.

Once your application is received, we’ll set up a special phone call to explore whether or not the magical way I work would be a good fit for you and your family! I can’t wait to connect and create this same lasting transformation for YOU!

Related posts:
How to know when it’s time to stop tutoring your own kid
Case study: an 8th grader goes from “math meltdown” to “math touchdown!”
What to do when you get a disappointing math test grade

End the Math Freakout: at the Montclair NJ Public Library, Sun 3/19

Tuesday, March 14th, 2017

Come and join me in Montclair, NJ to learn how to end the math freakout and raise a math-confident daughter! Sunday, 3/19, 3-4 pm! (Yes, back-to-back NJ speaking engagements!)

Talk Title: End the Math Freakout: How to Raise a Math-Confident Daughter (for Parents)

Audience: This talk is for parents of students from 4th grade through high school who are having trouble with math and know that something needs to change.

Date: Sunday, 3/19

Time: 3-4 pm

Location: Montclair Public Library – Main Library
50 South Fullerton Avenue
Montclair, New Jersey 07042

Cost: Free and open to the public

Please spread the word to parents and kids you think might be interested.

I would love to see you there!

Sending you love,
REBECCA

#mathforparents #Montclair #NJ #NewJersey #MontclairPublicLibrary #mathanxiety #mathconfidence #mathmastery #makingmathmagical #endthemathfreakout #mathgirls #mathemotions #mathjoy #STEM #STEAM #MATHMASTERY

Three simple steps to tell if your kid actually understands what’s going on with math

Wednesday, March 1st, 2017

Have you ever been helping your kid with math, and just really wanted to know whether or not they were getting it? Or maybe you got the feeling that your kid might be confused about something, but you couldn’t put a finger on what it was yourself. Well, let me share with you my special time-tested technique for dealing with this exact situation!

First, ask the question, “What questions do you have?” instead of “Do you have any questions?”

There are several reasons for this:

When we are asked “do you have any questions?” most of us have been socially conditioned to say “no,” without really thinking about whether or not we do need something cleared up. So asking “DO you have any questions” is not super effective.

“WHAT questions do you have,” because it assumes that you have questions, encourages people to actually try to come up with something they have questions about, instead of just glibly saying “no.” It also makes it normal to have questions, and treats the need for clarification as just a natural, built-in part of the learning process.

Second, wait up to seven seconds for your kid to respond. Why? Research has found that it usually takes seven seconds to formulate a question when you’re asked if you have one. This can feel really uncomfortable the first few times, since we’re not used to waiting like this. But it is absolutely worth it.

Third, only ask “What questions do you have?” if you genuinely want to know and you have time
to address the questions that your kid may have. If you don’t actually mean it, A, over time, the question will lose its power, and B, your kid will feel that they don’t actually have a chance to ask their questions and it just becomes a fake formality.

(I’ve had to be careful with this myself – for example, to not ask for questions when I only have 30 seconds left before I need to talk to my next student! If you’re in that kind of situation, just trust that you will be able to take care of the questions your kid has at a later moment when you can give it your full attention.)

Do you dream of your daughter or son receiving high-level, individualized one-on-one support that’s customized completely in every nanosecond? Do you prioritize investing in your child’s education above all else? Do you just want a caring professional to take over your family’s “math situation” so you can just focus on being a mom or dad, and not have to do the tutoring yourself?

Just click here to get started with your special application for my one-on-one math tutoring programs. Once your application is received, we’ll set up a special phone call to get clear if my approach would be a good fit for your child.

I’m here for you, and I’m so glad we’re connected!

Sending you love,
REBECCA

“End the math freakout” live in LA: Tues 1/31 in Santa Monica

Friday, January 6th, 2017

I’m very excited about this rare upcoming West Coast appearance!

On Tues 1/31 at 6 pm, I’ll be speaking to parents at the Montana Avenue Public Library in Santa Monica, Los Angeles about how to raise a math-confident daughter!

Come and join me, and please spread the word to parents who you think may be interested!

Math can be an enormous source of parental anxiety, where even the most math-confident parents can find themselves stuck when it comes to supporting their own child. Make sure that math anxiety isn’t an obstacle to your daughter’s dreams.

This talk/workshop will provide you with groundbreaking tools to build and nurture your daughter’s math confidence, including:

• the difference between perfectionism and mastery
• growth mindset
• how to use “negative” emotions to achieve math success
• flow state (how to use the sweet spot between boredom and overwhelm)
• mastery orientation, and more

You will discover how to support your daughter to achieve true mastery, rise to the top of their class, and even come to experience math as a source of joy and a type of self-expression.

You’ll walk away with clear steps, case studies, and tools that you can use immediately at home to ensure math confidence and success.

Talk title: End the math freakout: How to raise a math-confident daughter

THIS TALK IS FOR: Parents of creative, passionate, unique daughters from 4th grade through high school who are having issues with math and know that something needs to change.

Date: Tuesday, 1/31

Time: 6-7 pm

Location: 1704 Montana Ave.
Santa Monica, CA 90403

Cost: Free and open to the public.

I would love to see you there!
Sending you love,
REBECCA